Before I even knew I was hapū, I knew I was going to have a home birth. There was no doubt about it. I came into this world at home and so did my sister. It was a seed that was planted within me by my māmā and it only grew as I came into hapūtanga. Our pēpi was also a long-awaited blessing and so we had to take the opportunity to do all that we wanted in hapūtanga as this may be the only time we can experience it.
I was very fortunate that I had a sound pregnancy. Guided by my beliefs, wants and (of course) luck. I needed minimal interactions in the health system and was able to allow time to go by until my pēpi was ready to come into our world when it was divinely right (and funnily enough, right on her due date). Attending Hapū Wananga solidified my beliefs in wanting a home birth and that the cascade of medical interventions is not what I wanted, nor something I needed. I was divinely protected by my tupuna and guided by my knowledge – that’s all I needed, and I still have much to learn.
I remember hearing stories of my nanny giving birth in a hut outside of their whare in the 50-60’s in the far north and so my pāpā and his siblings would know when my nanny and my koro would go into this hut, it was time for pēpī to be born. This was a tapu space. For māmā, pāpā and new pep to be joined together. While I didn’t have space for a hut, our lounge was the next best thing. For weeks our lounge was set up as a birthing nest. Lights, playlist on command and a plethora of towels, snacks... everything we would need to be able to give birth at home.
At 8:53am in the month of May, my world cracked open and my pēpi was born. Years of dreaming, years of waiting…and it came to be with a long labour, 5 minutes of active pushing, no abrasions or tears and my partner and I were up and about 2 hours after I gave birth. My in-laws didn’t’ even get to see our birthing nest.
Nothing can really prepare you for your first birthing experience, and I can only wish that everyone had a smooth birth as mine. But here are some of my takeaways:
Stand strong in your beliefs and advocate for yourself.
Wāhine are crafted in such a beautiful way that we are meant to give birth and don’t let anyone step on your mana or say otherwise. Honor yourself by trusting your body and yourself.
Pāpā can be actively involved in the birthing process – mine was and it has only made us a stronger pair.
Labour is the hardest, and it will test you. Birthing is magical if you let it be.
Let the emotions wash over you, be in the moment and yes the pain goes away as soon as you see your baby.
Our pēpi is our love personified. Not only mine & my partners, but also the love stories of our parents & our tupuna. I am so grateful to have had such a beautiful experience lathered in love. My daughter Waiataarere is everything and more. I can only hope we are lucky again in this lifetime to experience it all over again.
